"...it is extremely important to focus on the things we want rather than to focus on the things that we fear. This type of philosophy is the cornerstone to getting what you want in the dating scene. The belief system of a loser is distorted by fear of what might go wrong...fear looks at the past (and all the failures and rejections of the past) while desire and success look to the future. Winners look ahead...losers look back. Winners also remind themselves that a) No one gets unanimous approval and b) No one succeeds all of the time! In fact winners have a much higher failure rate than losers because winners are constantly trying to improve! Winners think 'next time' while losers whine 'if only'. Winners focus on 'this will'; losers worry about 'what if' ... and fail to take necessary risks. William James once wrote about the importance of attitudes. It is not what happens that counts, rather how you, personally, take it that really counts! Here is a comparison of a winner's attitude versus a loser's outlook about being rejected for a date: A Winner Thinks 'I was turned down. That means I was doing. Next time I'll be closer to what I want.' A Loser 'Reasons' 'I shouldn't have tried', 'I'm not good looking enough', 'I don't have enough money.' Instead of dwelling on what he lacks, a winner makes the most of what he has! So what are you? A winner or a loser? Do you really want to succeed at the game of dating? Remember, what is programmed in your belief system, how you view yourself and what your attitudes are will determine your final score in this game of love." - Abner Cook, Member Emeritus - Video Introductions Want to consider becoming a Video Introductions member? Click How To Join Go to Relationship Tips Copyright © 1986-2000 Video Introductions